Last spring, I found myself contemplating wearing my super-cute maternity swimsuit and fibbing about being three months pregnant rather than brave the mall fitting room for the annual festival of self-loathing known as swimsuit shopping. Even though my youngest child was over two, my body was stubbornly holding onto the weight gained over not one, but three pregnancies in five years. I knew that it was time for me to think about a diet. So I thought about it. I decided that I would naturally lose the weight over summer, what with the hotter weather and three active children and all.
Despite my optimism, I spent the summer avoiding the pool at all costs, and feeling generally uncomfortable. This year, I decided to take matters well into hand before I found myself crouching poolside in a pair of elastic-waist shorts and a baggy tee. Did I make weight loss a priority this year? Did I join the gym and cut out sweets? Not exactly.
No, I jumped onto the Lands End website, and created a virtual model for myself. "Aha! I can try swimsuits on virtually! In my kitchen!" When I typed in my physical dimensions, and my virtual model appeared, I was stunned. Actually, stunned doesn't even cover my reaction. I felt betrayed. First of all, that woman on my screen was fat – surely I must have mistyped something. I checked my stats again. I refreshed the model, and to my surprise, she was still fat.
Well, shoot. All the mirrors in my house are from the waist up, and I am always careful not to linger. I'm used to dressing for comfort, and haven't really bought clothes with sizes that include numbers in years. I raced to the nearest mirror, and scrutinized myself. My stomach would totally back me up, should I try to pull off the maternity suit. Don't get me started on my upper arms. And my butt has a time zone all to itself, people. Who knew? Like my virtual model, I am apparently fat.
It sounds ridiculous to say that I didn't realize that I was fat. I have always had a rounded figure, even at my fighting weight of one hundred twenty pounds. At just under five feet tall, I seem to gain weight all over, instead of just in my lower half. I assured myself that I was still proportional, and I assumed all those bad photos were just taken from unflattering angles. When my scale died shortly after the birth of my youngest, I never replaced it. I've know that my weight needed some attention, but I didn't realize how much I've gained, how much I've changed.
After the shock wore off, I turned on some techno music and put my virtual model through the entire line of swimsuits. Sadly, I discovered that there is not a truly flattering cut for a woman who is carrying fifty extra pounds around. Fifty pounds is larger than my seven year old! No wonder I'm not as energetic as I used to be. It's like I'm walking around with a chimpanzee on my back. Okay, a fifty-pound chimp is a small one, but still. I left the site and decided that optimism is only one of the factors I'll need to shed these extra pounds. Ooh-ooh, ah-ah.
I've been on a few diets here and there, with mixed results. My family enjoyed pasta and dessert while I choked down another broiled chicken breast and steamed veggies or worse, a frozen, reduced everything entree. Sure, I may have dropped a few pounds, but I suspect the loss was due to calories burned while seething in resentment.
For me to be truly successful, I know I will have to make some major lifestyle changes, not only for myself, but also for my entire family. As a stay-at-home-mom to a first grader, kindergartener and toddler, I want to reinforce good eating habits, and teach them how to make healthy choices. I want to be a positive role model. I want our family to play together, and eat together. Mostly, I don't want to have to choke down diet food while my family gets to eat the good stuff.
I've decided to follow the eating guidelines provided in The Fat Fallacy, by Will Clower. This eating style, inspired by the eating habits of the French, appeals to me because it encourages varied meals of healthy foods, with the focus on avoiding packaged foods and artificial ingredients. I like the sensible, gimmick-free approach to meals, and the added benefit of making mealtime more of a family event, rather than a quick refueling before rushing off to other activities. I also like the fact that the cover of the book has a pat of butter melting onto an English muffin. Now that's what I'm talking about.
With a husband and three kids who prefer boxed macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs in it to all other forms of cuisine, and are hard-pressed to stay at the table through a single course served on melamine plates, I'm not sure how we'll do with the leisurely, multiple-course meals suggested. I'm looking into installing seat belts on the dining chairs. In any case, it could make for some rich comedy. I am looking forward to giving it a go.
First, brilliant lead in to your blog mission. Inspiration and snark, all in the same post. That's the Jenny Lauck magic.
Second, I did the virtual model thing too. Dang, that's painful to look at! I added some additional masochism by choosing the 'mature' facial features and my model kinda looked like Patti LaBelle. Yo! Who's yer mama now?
That was, of course, a natural segue to saying that I look forward to reading about your progress and, of course, your "New Attitude".
Always your fan,
Grace
Posted by: GraceD | 05/10/2006 at 12:13 AM
Ugh. A virtual model? You are a brave woman. I should probably do it, however, we're headed to the beach this Saturday, so sadly, it will probably only depress me more.
However, kudos on doing something about it. I have had a couple of miscarriages in the last 5 months and so I'm definitely at my highest weight. I realized that while I'm very tall (almost 6 foot), I'm definitely looking a little larger than I'd like.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Posted by: motherhooduncensored | 05/10/2006 at 04:50 AM
That meal plan sounds awesome. I'll have to get the book.
And fifty pounds. I've SO been there (actually I've been there times two. and a half.) I know how overwhelming it feels and how hard it is.
One pound at a time, baby!
Posted by: Amanda | 05/10/2006 at 07:54 AM
I am SO with you on needing to lose weight and being at a loss for how to get started. On days like today when I do eat pretty well, as in "less than everything in sight," that afternoon craving for a little something sweet isn't helping any! Or that's the day somebody has something delicious on their desk at work. It'd be rude to refuse, wouldn't it? After they went to all that trouble to pick that candy out at the store...
Posted by: janny226 | 05/10/2006 at 01:03 PM
Oh my, the poor model looked so cute before I entered my information...
Posted by: Politically Incorrect Mom | 05/10/2006 at 05:20 PM
Oh man, you guys. I found myself CHEATING on my virtual model. Like if I fudged by 10 pounds or so she would look better. Its a sickness, I'm telling you.
Posted by: BigSlice | 05/10/2006 at 05:43 PM
Um...I just went to Lands' End. Made my model. Will now go play in traffic during rush hour...
I am a little taller than you, but weigh the same. I have decided that this is the year I get rid of the spare tire and flabflabflabby butt. We can all encourage each other!
but I am still going to go play in the traffic.
Posted by: Missie | 05/11/2006 at 02:33 PM