Smoked Bacon, Anyone?

A few years back, I did all my shopping online.  For everything.  As a result I've ended up on who knows how many catalog mailing lists, and I get a hefty stack every month.  I've written to have myself removed from the lists but it seems that I get re-signed up every time I so much as blink.

Anyway, today I was flipping through the pages of "Time for Me" - a collection of weight loss aids, miracle cures, girdles and vibrators.  I came across this little gem in the Amazing! Weight Loss! section:
These flavor sprays have no calories, no carbs, no sugar and no fat.  What's not to like, right?  But what exactly do you put into a spray bottle to simulate the taste of Smoked Bacon?  Or Cheddar Cheese? 

This is exactly the type of chemical dieting mumbo jumbo that made me choose The Fat Fallacy in the first place.  I wanted to see what was in these things, so I clicked over to the Flavor Spray site.  From the get-go, my hackles were raised.  First of all, they use a black and white graphic showing food being spritzed with this stuff, and suddenly going technicolor.  The thing is, the food they are showing looks pretty damn good before it is colorized.  I'm not buying the fact that a spritz of Mochaccino juice on my fruit salad is going to make it better.  What's wrong with eating fruit salad that tastes like, I don't know, real fruit?

I loved this part:

Also,             our Sweet and Sinful Sprays can be sprayed directly into your mouth.             (do not use our Savory sprays in this manner due to their concentrations).

When I was a teenager, my mom and I both went on some sort of packaged diet plan.  I want to say the time I'm thinking of was Nutrisystem, but we tried quite a few different ones.  Anyway, we were sitting at the kitchen table, each with a tall glass of orange liquid that we understood from the packaged powder to be an "orange sherbert shake."

"Mmm," said my mom.  "Tastes just like...orange powder."

For the same amount of calories, we could have each had a small glass of real orange juice, but instead we were choking down this "healthy alternative." Hell, we could have had a small serving of orange sherbert.  It didn't make any sense then, and it continues to baffle me why people would eat like this.

So, back to our Flavor Spray discussion.  I enjoyed this little quote, too. 

Miss USA             Chelsea Cooley uses the Flavor Sprays             whenever she needs to fill a craving for something sweet.
 

            "Since they are so low in calories, I like to experiment with             the Flavor Sprays when I want to indulge in something             sweet. My favorites are Cookies & Cream on marshmallows and Chocolate             Fudge on strawberries. I am always looking for different ways to indulge             without the guilt or extra pounds," explains Cooley.

Aaargh!  A quick glance at the recipe section encourages people to eat rice cakes sprayed with a flavor, and whipped topping with a spray of hot fudge flavoring...

Looking for ways to indulge without guilt or extra pounds?  This isn't the answer.  How many of those marshmellows do you think Miss USA eats?  It's just weird and wrong.  The goal isn't to cheat the system and get more treats - the goal isn't to keep your sweet-tooth jacked up on artificial spray.  The only way for me to get to a moderate eating style is to train myself to not crave the constant surge of sweet that is found in packaged foods. 

Why not just taste the asparagus, or the steak, or the potatoes, or the strawberries?  Why not use real herbs and spices for flavoring?  What about a little pat of real butter?  Are those calories and fat grams really going to kill your whole diet? 

Is standing in front of your pantry, alternating spritzing your tongue with cheesecake flavored spray and raspberry bubblegum spray the answer to controlling your cravings? 

This makes me nuts.  Seriously, people.  Eat real food.  Eat small portions of real food, and enjoy it. 

Comments

[the womom]

lol.
I have lemon scented lysol over here. we should compare ingredients.

[kathryn, dym]

Dude. You are such a HATER. Don't be dissin' the smoked bacon flavored colorizing spray in such a public forum. It's just not right.

[Mom Nancy]

I don't know, I think smoked bacon spray could make baby toes taste even yummier than bbq sauce...

[mothergoosemouse]

Did you see the sample diet that included "whipped topping" for dessert, with a spray of "banana split" or whatever? Grossness maximus.

[Michelle]

This reminds me one time Sinbad the comedian said that nutisystem had these sprays and when he ran out he was like a cocaine addict behind the nutri system looking for empty bottle of spray to get some fumes out of....They also had a nutrichips he saud that when you ge thungry you are supposed to eat one chip..He said if I could eat only one chip i wouldnt be at nutrisystem in the first place..hahaha..lol..

[Carrie]

That was great. Brilliant even. Even though it's kind duh? Common sense. I think that when wanting to lose weight SO badly people (meaning me only as I am probably much weirder and more addictive than most people as I am not thinking that I really want marshmallows!) lose track. People (again, me.) get desperate. Stupid things offer a glimmer of hope that is so hard to get again after you have lost it for the 497th time. I will eat THAT and lose weight? Bring it on! And you're right, it isn't healthy and only makes things worse in the end. Flavored sprays directly into the mouth? Ugh. Nasty. But I bet that I have been desperate enough to try them in the past. (Or maybe last week, who knows?) I think that I need a little common sense reminder every day. For which I shall use you for now. Thanks!

[Stephanie c.]

So true, Jenny, so true.