I'm struggling right now. I've been struggling for a week, questioning, second-guessing, and full of self-pity.
I stepped on the scale, and I'm at 174 pounds. I guess introducing breakfast daily isn't enough to make me magically lose weight.
If I was in my right mind, I wouldn't have reached for the ice cream after dinner, which set me up for skipping breakfast the next morning, followed by an all-carb lunch, followed by a fast food dinner.
Three days later, I'm still off my game. I'm fighting those "it doesn't matter" voices in my head, and I'm overthinking everything, looking for shortcuts to get me back on track. But I don't need shortcuts. I just need to go back to what works.
The thought of journaling is making me crazy. Seriously crazy. It brings out the overthinking control freak in me, and I am not enjoying eating, not enjoying cooking, not enjoying anticipating or planning for upcoming meals.
I think trying to wrap myself around the whole "whole grain, lean protein, veggies" idea has me feeling rather blah about food. Instead of enjoying the nutty flavors, the fresh tastes, the bright colors, I've been focusing on what I am not supposed to eat.
I need to get a grip. It isn't like ice cream is leaving the planet.
I apologize for this rambling - I know it isn't inspiring or motivating to listen to me whine about how I can't get my head to think right about this lifestyle change. I'm thinking more and more that I really need to do that Fat Fallacy program in March (I should see if I can still register) and get some help in changing this pigheaded attitude I have.
In other news, I'm exercising daily, and will be riding horses at least once a week. Real ones, even, not just my pretend horsie. I have to believe that all these puzzle pieces are going to start clicking together at some point. I have to believe it, or I'm going face down in another vat of ice cream.