Why They Call It Full Moon

So, I recently got a book to review in the mail.  Michael Thurmond's 12 day Body Shaping Miracle is actually a really cool, complete resource - I've posted a full review over at threekidcircus.com/auditions.

Anyway...

I read through this book, and the author recommends taking three full-length photos of yourself (front, side and back) in a bathing suit, printing them out in 8x10 size and then marking them up with a pen to take note of hunched shoulders, sagging butt, protruding stomach...in short, all your visible flaws.  This is so you see what you want to work on, and can measure your progress over the course of your program.

Oh, the HORROR.  I know that I would rather, like, NEVER see my backside straight on, and the thought of contemplating bathing suit photos is so...well.  Yes.

Okay.  (Deep cleansing breath)

Did I mention that I'll be attending my brother's wedding in February.  In Hawaii?  And that a swimsuit will be packed and worn?  Because hello, HAWAII?  In 2 1/2 weeks? 

Hee hee hee, hoo hoo hoo, hee hee hee - does anyone have a paper bag? 

So, yesterday, I spun around and contemplated my butt in the mirror after showering.  Although I can feel the muscles under the fat, the fat is still there, and it is actually dimpled.  I have cellulite on my butt.  Craters which could be named after Roman gods.  It looks like I was caught in the tail of a comet, and peppered with small chunks of space debris.  It looks like the surface of the moon. 

Oh my GOD.

So, yeah.  I'm going to take the bathing suit photos today, and then I'm going to be brave and honest and while I'm not going to post them here (yet) I am going to face down my back-fat and my  dimpled butt and my rounded shoulders.  I'm going to address specific problem areas (jiggle jiggle) and pursue some specific goals for my next set of photos.

I'm also going to be shopping for a skirted suit.  Heh.  Maybe a bathing cap with plastic flowers on it and a little chin strap, too. 

I often joke about how BigSlice is one long conversation about my big fat butt, but I think I've outdone myself with this entry.  Hah!

Comments

[maria]

I have found the best way to avoid bathing suit anxiety is to buy those swin shorts. Lands end or LL Bean sell them as a cover up but they do the trick and don't look weird. Hawaii in 2 weeks.....I am sooo jealous. I LOVE Hawaii.

[elsie]

Lands End is an awesome place to buy a bathing suit. They have a great assortment of tankinis, and also an assortment of mix-and-match pieces so you can pick what works best for you.

Expensive, yes, but oh so worth it. Especially since it avoids the necessity of a dressing room!

[steph]

I've taken the pictures. Definitely mind opening and altering. Not sure I'm up to the 8 x 10 though.

[Kris]

Hey, been there. Instead of a skirted suit, try on some board shorts! They are more "cool" and "trendy" and way comfortable. They hide everything that needs to be hidden and are still very much beachwear!

[Ginny]

Noooo! Not the skirted suit! I made the mistake of buying one last year and then accompanying my son into the shallow end of the pool. The water level was right at skirt level, and the skirt billowed out and floated on the surface of the water. I couldn't have drawn more attention to my hips if I'd used a flashing neon sign. Actually, I really like the suit your Evil Twin is wearing over on the sidebar there.

fat a** lady go f*** a log or a man