So, I recently got a book to review in the mail. Michael Thurmond's 12 day Body Shaping Miracle is actually a really cool, complete resource - I've posted a full review over at threekidcircus.com/auditions.
I read through this book, and the author recommends taking three full-length photos of yourself (front, side and back) in a bathing suit, printing them out in 8x10 size and then marking them up with a pen to take note of hunched shoulders, sagging butt, protruding stomach...in short, all your visible flaws. This is so you see what you want to work on, and can measure your progress over the course of your program.
Oh, the HORROR. I know that I would rather, like, NEVER see my backside straight on, and the thought of contemplating bathing suit photos is so...well. Yes.
Okay. (Deep cleansing breath)
Did I mention that I'll be attending my brother's wedding in February. In Hawaii? And that a swimsuit will be packed and worn? Because hello, HAWAII? In 2 1/2 weeks?
Hee hee hee, hoo hoo hoo, hee hee hee - does anyone have a paper bag?
So, yesterday, I spun around and contemplated my butt in the mirror after showering. Although I can feel the muscles under the fat, the fat is still there, and it is actually dimpled. I have cellulite on my butt. Craters which could be named after Roman gods. It looks like I was caught in the tail of a comet, and peppered with small chunks of space debris. It looks like the surface of the moon.
Oh my GOD.
So, yeah. I'm going to take the bathing suit photos today, and then I'm going to be brave and honest and while I'm not going to post them here (yet) I am going to face down my back-fat and my dimpled butt and my rounded shoulders. I'm going to address specific problem areas (jiggle jiggle) and pursue some specific goals for my next set of photos.
I'm also going to be shopping for a skirted suit. Heh. Maybe a bathing cap with plastic flowers on it and a little chin strap, too.
I often joke about how BigSlice is one long conversation about my big fat butt, but I think I've outdone myself with this entry. Hah!