I'll be attending a wedding on Saturday evening, and after a brief glance through my closet, I determined that I had nothing to wear. Nothing, with a capital N. It isn't that I don't have any dresses and whatnot, but the majority of my wardrobe is black and stretchy. And hooterrific, if you get my meaning.
I count my bazongas amongst my better features, but I'm tired of dressing myself like a co-ed on the make. Everyone who knows me is like "Put them away, Jenny. We've seen enough of the girls."
Being a petite woman at the double digit end of the size spectrum (read: short and fat) makes for some shopping challenges. The petite stuff usually doesn't fit. The regular sizes need to be hemmed, or fits odd. Forays into the "plus-sized" sections leave me frustrated...I'm too big for regular sizes, too small for plus sizes. I'm not interested in wearing muu muus.
Anyway, with the wedding coming up fast, and nothing to wear, I took advantage of my parents' good graces and left them with my kids while I headed to the local mall. I had a mission:
Find a damn dress in a color other than black that fits properly and makes me resemble a woman. And some shoes, too.
JC Penney was having a sale, so I moved quickly through the dress section, grabbing everything in my size that I could find. With the fitting rooms being painted, I stood in line for 30 minutes waiting for my turn. By the time I got into a room, I was already feeling less confident. I hung all fifteen of the dresses on a hook, and got to work.
Shift dresses? Sausage casing.
Halters? Hello, boobs. And also? No.
Flirty cap sleeve dresses? Not on this body.
Cotton shirt dresses? I can't even express how wrong these looked.
I was near weeping and beyond frustrated when I reached the last dress in the bunch. I saw that I had inadvertently picked up a strapless sundress, thinking it had spaghetti straps. I can't do strapless. Come on. COME ON! The last time I wore a strapless dress was to my prom. (I rocked it, too.)
Faced with 14 losers already, I thought I'd go ahead and try it on. Why not, right? I was feeling kind of fatalistic at that point.
It fit. It was actually sort of cute. Wait, it was really pretty cute. I mean, my middle was kinda lumpy and my boobs needed some lift, but dude...they have special underwear for that. I have that special underwear in my bureau. I'm set!
Sweet Jeebus, I found a cute dress to wear to the wedding. I'm wearing a strapless sundress and it makes me look like a girl and I really love it. And the best part? It was on sale for twenty dollah. I actually said "wooo!" when the salesperson rang me up.
Then I went over to shoes and scored a cute pair of sandals for another twenty dollah.
You wanna see? Click below to see the cuteness. And no, I don't have makeup or my hair done. I'll take those photos on Saturday.
Cute, yeah? TWENTY DOLLAH.
Oooo! I LOVE it! I'm like you, vertically challenged, so I hate shopping for dresses cause they either drag the floor or the empire waist sits around my butt. LOL Have a great time! You're gonna look GREAT! And for twenty DOLLAH! What a BAHGAIN! Have fun!
Posted by: MJ | 06/14/2007 at 11:37 AM
You're totally cute!
Posted by: Shrinkingmom | 06/14/2007 at 11:43 AM
Excellent selection! When shopping, do you try to follow the "What Not to Wear" show's suggestions for your body shape? I always go to those shows' web-sites before shopping to brush up my fashion hints for my body type, that way I don't grab a bunch of stuff that ends up depressing me in the dressing room. (Great chance find, though!=)
Posted by: prov31wisemom | 06/14/2007 at 01:16 PM
How CUTE are you!!! I love it.
Posted by: Carmen | 06/14/2007 at 01:58 PM
JENNY! You look awesome! :) Love it, and the shoes too.
Posted by: Mir | 06/14/2007 at 02:45 PM
Twenty dollah! Woo hoo! You look totally cute, and I like the yellow. You said "I'm too big for regular sizes, too small for plus sizes"-me too. Drives me nuts! I wish you could take me shopping for some decent clothes to wear to Blogher!
Posted by: Elizabeth Edwards | 06/15/2007 at 05:20 AM
Very cute!
Posted by: coraspartan | 06/15/2007 at 10:48 AM
Love it!! Super cute! Yellow looks great on you.
Posted by: Cookei | 06/15/2007 at 11:36 AM
Gorgeous!
Posted by: parodie | 06/16/2007 at 02:08 PM
agh! so darn perfect!
what a score.
we're going to a wedding next weekend too; I'm going to wear black after looking at too many dresses today that needed altering. grr.
Posted by: steph | 06/16/2007 at 08:53 PM
ooh - that is cute!
Posted by: jennyonthespot | 06/16/2007 at 10:14 PM
OMG! Soooo stinkin' cute!
Posted by: fat Bridesmaid | 06/18/2007 at 06:47 AM
Great color on you. So springy and festive. You go 20 dollah girl-friend!
Posted by: Kris | 06/18/2007 at 08:10 PM
You look FAB! Congrats!
I have a hard time finding dresses... I just look frumpy in them. I don't now why. But that one you got there is a keeper!
Posted by: Nichole | 06/20/2007 at 07:28 AM